Ellen's Diet Rantings

ellen · Post by **ellen** » Mon 02 Feb 2009 00:06

I hate today

I went to J-Town to buy raw fish,
And I saw myself in the mirror and I got so depressed
because I didn't wear any makeup...
I was sooo embarrassed... especially when I wanted to buy a shisheido makeup and the lady wanted to put it on my skin but she looked disgusted, and I felt like a leopard.
I wanted to cry...
And I think me and my bf broke up.
So I bought the fish and right next to it was a japanese bakery
and I ate a few bites of a bun

Now I feel like an ugly failure

fictor · Post by **fictor** » Mon 02 Feb 2009 09:57

Come on ellen, cheer up!

It does not matter if you have a munch food now and then.
It is not easy for everyone to get into this diet. Whenever
you fall, just get back up.
If wearing make-up makes you feel better, then wear it.

Condolences on the braking up with your boyfriend part
though, thats tough

Post by **Iris** » Mon 02 Feb 2009 15:32

Some days everything seems to go the wrong way, and everything sucks! But I hope you're feeling better by now. Remember it can only get better

Not that it's of any help, but I know how you feel. When I see myself in a window or mirror somewhere I hate the way I look right now too. Sometimes it can ruin your whole day when also other things turn out the wrong way. But believe me, it will get better, and some day you will look at yourself in a window and be surprised by what you see

And then you will feel so good about yourself, and happy you made it through all the hard times when you thought you couldn't keep up. It can really become reality, if you just hang in there and don't give up, ever! You're worth it!!! Don't let anybody else make you feel different!

Corinne · Post by **Corinne** » Tue 03 Feb 2009 00:20

Cheer up Ellen,

We've all done this at some point...and we've made it over the hump!
It's all about balance. If you feel terrible without make-up please don't not wear it. wait till you feel better from inside and have skin you can somewhat accept. Then try less make-up gradually.
the diet and the adjustments are much easier to handle when done gradually,with self-love, care and acceptance.
All the best!
You can do it!

ellen · Post by **ellen** » Tue 03 Feb 2009 06:28

hey guys!!!

I'm actually quite embarrassed by my previous post.
It was just one of those days and I felt the need to be overly dramatic.
You were not the only ones who experience that from me.

Today is the end of the first week and I weighed myself and was surprised to discover I weigh 144.4!
(I was 148 a week before, and before January I was 152. So that's great!)
That's the good news

The bad news, I was late for a lecture and I ate nothing before I left. I'm on campus from 12:30 to 21:30 on Mondays, and they obviously don't sell fruits... So I had no choice but to buy all I could afford

Vending machine food. Basically I drank a pop and ate a ridiculous amount of chocolate to get through 4 lectures.
I know chocolate doesn't make me break out, but I don't know how it will affect my weight.
Anyways,
thank you for all your support, I needed it!
And I will keep at it and see what the second week brings

ellen · Post by **ellen** » Tue 03 Feb 2009 06:32

another thing,
I tried to eat the fish I bought yesterday and I couldn't eat it.
I am repulsed by it for some reason...
My bf (I was melodramatic about everything

) tells me to wash it but... I don't know...
Do they do anything special to the fish that makes it taste different?
When I tried to eat it it felt raw.......

ok I know it's raw, but in a restaurant it doesn't feel raw while this one feels like it should be cooked.
Am I losing my mind?

fictor · Post by **fictor** » Tue 03 Feb 2009 16:52

What kind of fish was it?

YouTube · Post by **RRM** » Tue 03 Feb 2009 18:04

ellen wrote: I know chocolate doesn't make me break out, but I don't know how it will affect my weight.
Anyways,

Cheating bit time once doesnt make much difference.
Just think about it. Even if you ate really a LOOOOT of chocolate that day, consuming 8000 kcal while you needed only 3000, maximally (over 1000 kcal may have been stored as glycogen) 5000 kcal may have got stored as fat. 1 gram of fat holds about 9 kcal, so that your maximum gain weight was 5000/9 gram => going from 144 to 145.

So, you did 3 steps forward and one step back. If you do that all the time, you are still going ahead consistently.
People get fat by daily eating a bit too much. Not by incidentally eating way too much.

And indeed, as Oscar asked:
What kind of fish was it?

ellen · Post by **ellen** » Wed 04 Feb 2009 18:30

It was salmon.

I bought it from an authentic Japanese fish store, that doesn't freeze their fish and get it from Japan.
I have done a bit of shopping after I bough it and left it in the car. But the weather is cold and it was in a bag with ice in it.
I feel like it isn't like the fish I normally eat at resturants.

ellen · Post by **ellen** » Wed 04 Feb 2009 18:35

And my last week is approaching its end, but I'm scared to add munch foods in because it will probably slow down my weight loss.
The chocolate incident pretty much stopped the weight loss alotgether

That said, I can't do it any longer, I physically need bread and chocolate to survive

what should I do?

Post by **Iris** » Wed 04 Feb 2009 19:03

If you want a rational answer; ignore your craving. It's just your addiction kicking in! You are not gonna die if you don't eat it, it's more likely you'll die faster if you do eat it

In a while the cravings will diminish.

But on the other hand, if it makes the diet easier for you, and you don't overeat the "junkfood", you could of course choose to take some every day or every few days. But indeed it will make loosing weight harder, and it will keep your addiction allive. But I know it can be very hard. Maybe you're just not ready yet to drop the addiction. I know I'm not right now. But I know that in a while I'll feel strong enough to kick the habit

It's better to eat some cooked stuff each day and a lot of fruits and some animal foods then only cooked foods....

In other words; nobody can make the decission for you...

fictor · Post by **fictor** » Wed 04 Feb 2009 20:45

I say: cold turkey is the way to go

By that, I dont mean you should eat raw (cold) turkey, but
do the diet 100%. You dont need the munch foods.

But, as Iris said, its your choice

ellen · Post by **ellen** » Wed 04 Feb 2009 20:48

It is a rational answer isn't it?

But for the past three days I've been forcing myself to eat fruits and all I could think of is chinese food

This is especially discouraging when my face has been breaking out...
Like the texture of it is very beautiful but there are new pimples all over...
I don't think it's the chocolate, because my face has been breaking out when I was 100% on it.
And I remeber the first time I did Wai's diet and ate a lot of much foods my face still got clear, and faster than this time.

The only thing I could think of that's causing it is the make-up remover.
Last time I just washed the maekup off with a special soap and water.
I'll try this.

Also, wasn't Wai saying that you can still lose weight while eating much food every single day? Why isn't it working?

ellen · Post by **ellen** » Wed 04 Feb 2009 20:50

fictor, you sound like a very hard core guy

I bet you do everything to the extreme

Post by **Iris** » Wed 04 Feb 2009 22:08

ellen wrote:Also, wasn't Wai saying that you can still lose weight while eating much food every single day? Why isn't it working?

Do you mean munch food? Otherwise it depends on what you eat

You can eat much food every single day when on his diet, and still lose weight. Just don't epect it to happen in a few weeks. That's not realistic, unfortunately.
You can also lose weight when you eat munch food, as long as you ingest less energy than you use. So logically, the best way to do so is to make sure your energy depots are empty before eating your munch foood, so that the ingested energy won't be stored as fat, but is used to fill up the depots. But still, losing weight will go much faster when you don't eat munch food.