Ask yourself the RIGHT question, to stay focussed

[Kasper]

A post for people, like me, having problems staying focused on task etc.

Personally I have the tendency to dream away in thoughts all the time.
To give an example, if I'm bicycling to some place I've an appointment.
Sounds stupid, I know, but many times I just bicycle the complete wrong direction, and come late.
Not because I don't know which direction to go, but just because I'm not focused.

There is nothing wrong width my sense for finding the right direction.
My mom told me that already at the age of three, I used to tell here which way to go when she was getting lost somewhere.

But that's the big thing in my opinion, if someone ASKS me which direction I should go to get to my appointment.
I would tell them right away, without any problem, in great detail.

More in general, that's why working in groups can be so effective imo.
When I'm doing math, I notice it all the time.
When there is a very difficult exercise, after some time, people gut stuck.
If you work in groups, someone might say, where exactly do we get stuck here?
Sounds like a very general question, right ?
BUT after such a general question, many times, 20 seconds later, another one is getting a real insight:
"Hey, yeah, we get stuck, BECAUSE of we don't know the value of y. BUT it's easy to get the value of y using this formula."

Why does such a simple thing, seems to work so good ?
Well, imo, BECAUSE we always ask our self the WRONG question.
Questions like:
- Why am I so f*cking stupid that I can't even a solve such a simple question?
- Why didn't I start learning earlier? Your exam is next week !
- Why am I not able to stay focused for even 5 min. ?!?! What's wrong width you ??

Instead of judging ourself, we should judge those question, which don't help in anyway, imo.

For example in my case, when I dream away when I bicycling to an appointment.
My first reaction when I notice I'm going the wrong direction would be:
What the f*** is wrong width you going this direction when you have an appointment in 5 min. ?!?!?
But the last couple of weeks I learned myself, to say to myself.
"Kasper, that's not a good question, it's not helping you, try another one.
Hmm... , okay, well, which direction should I got to get at that place?
Well first I should go there, and than 10 min. that direction etc. etc."

I know, it might sound a bit weird, asking question to yourself..Or talking to yourself in that way.
But as it's helping me so much, I thought I should share it.
I even do it for the very small actions. Like:
How am I go to brush my teeth? How am I going to put my shoes on?
It makes me do thing so much more focused and faster.

[Iris]

Hehe, I talk a lot to myself/no one, even in public But a lot of recognition here (aside from being so hard on myself ); I used to get distracted from my "goal" sort of speak. Especially when walking my dog, which is NOT very friendly towards other dogs. So I often found myself losing all my focus when I saw another dog coming at our direction... I suspect,in my case, it is also large part due to being a woman A lot of "us" can't stay very focused when situations get to complex *missing the whistle-smiley here* But telling myself what my focus point/goal is again gets me back in focus fast, and I can pass the other dog more easily (because I don't get distracted by my dog going nuts and I can guide my own dog better when I'm focused, duh ). It has helped me a lot, also in other situations (even with studying) staying more focused.
Asking myself what my focus point is also helps me when I'm scared. It clears my mind, makes it easier to decide what to do, and over all greatly decreases my fear at that time