Iris, your question comes a bit 'out of the blue', so that its hard to grasp what you are getting at.
I think thats why coconutty wrote *sarcasm*.
Not because she thinks you are being sarcastic,
but because your question might seem a bit rude / insensitive, as we have no clue
what you are aiming at here, at this point.
The *sarcasm* is a defense-mode against that.
This is a very sensitive subject, and Coconutty was describing a feeling,
and logic may not be relevant here.
My question to you, Coconutty: maybe you care too much?
Maybe you have too much empathy,
and carry too much weight on your shoulders?
Good days & Bad days
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RRM
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summerwave
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response
I am sorry too if my post seemed counter to my meaning, which was only to sincerely say: many things have causes that are difficult to tease out, and few things are repeating in nature.
But RRM's questions have sensitively shown how one might approach something that indeed may be complex. Again, my apologies.
But RRM's questions have sensitively shown how one might approach something that indeed may be complex. Again, my apologies.
thanks for your sincerity summerwave and RRM. to answer iris' original question, i do care about some things, and maybe at times as RRM asked i care too much, but i think most people who aren't psychopaths would have those moments. sometimes caring too much leads to pain which leads to numbness which leads to not caring at all, but yeah... i get easily upset when i see people acting without a conscience, but that doesn't mean i never ignore mine either/ i tend to admire people with really strong morals though.
Re: Good days & Bad days
'society'coconutty wrote:What causes bad days?
within 'soceity', their is so much going on anround you, in your mind at all times on so many levels, and so much more, your hardly in 'control'; you may feel whats going on, or be somwhat aware, but your arnt really in control, not with all the sounds and images and so much more all around you, entering your subconcious sometime without you even being aware in the concious, to surface at any time, maybe 'triggered' so on so forth
hence 'good days and bad days'
exist outside of 'society', you will feel like a different being, and well you might as well be
Re: Good days & Bad days
I agree with colorles, society is something so complex these days, it sometimes can drive you insane...
I don't know for sure what you meant by "existing outside of society", but if that means living your own way without giving a shit about what society expects from you, that's also my position. The more I come to adopt this position, the less bad days I've been having
I don't know for sure what you meant by "existing outside of society", but if that means living your own way without giving a shit about what society expects from you, that's also my position. The more I come to adopt this position, the less bad days I've been having
Re: Good days & Bad days
There are good and there are bad things about 'society'. Just learn how to filter and protect yourself from the bad stuff.. and enjoy the good things.
Re: Good days & Bad days
in my opinion people who care too much and get heavily involved are not neccesarily a good thing, because they can have wrong ideas. there are a lot of scumbags out there who are greedy for money and power and they are bad, yes, but there is also a lot of confused, good hearted people who are leading other people down the wrong path with good intentions. one example would be religious evangelists, trying to save the souls of others but actually igniting social tension. mothers over clothing their children causing health issues but trying to protect them from the cold. this is a constant of our time, people see things through a filter of black and white rather than shades of grey and unknown.
if you leave a baby in a hospital, being fed and temperature regulated but not touched, it can wither and die, its immune system suppressed by brain understimulation (a form of baby boredom/torture), we are social creatures, although the older we get the more we can internalize social sensations through imagination (become independent).
bad days are always linked to a level of pain you cannot justify, so the two ways to minimize them is to increase the pain you can justify and minimize pain causing things in your life. example: your car breaks down in the snow on the way to your stressful job. you were probably already having a lousy day having to go to work, but you justified it because you became accustomed to it. when your car broke down you realized it would cost money to get it fixed, and you were going to have to go out in the snow, possibly with some embarassment-linked pain and get it taken care of. because you will be out of the money it cost for repairs, and have to tell your boss you can't come to work, you will have a higher amount of pain than you're used to and this is the start of a 'bad day'. to help this situation you can thank yourself you are not in a worse one, such as a prison cell for being a victim of the heroin abuse trap. to prevent this situation you can increase your health by various means, making the cold snowy weather not so painful or distasteful, and the stressful job easier and more manageable. you could invest in yourself educationally to get a better job even if it's the same salary, but less stressful, so that even if you have to work hours just to pay for those car repairs and not your new playstation 3, then it's not so painful because the work is not so stressful. by doing these core things, just like taking preventive measures doing the wai diet in order to decrease the stress caused by unhealthy processed and cooked foods, you raise your standard of living drastically and have less and less bad days.
the best thing I ever did for myself was move away from my stressful family, I haven't had a bad day since
if you leave a baby in a hospital, being fed and temperature regulated but not touched, it can wither and die, its immune system suppressed by brain understimulation (a form of baby boredom/torture), we are social creatures, although the older we get the more we can internalize social sensations through imagination (become independent).
bad days are always linked to a level of pain you cannot justify, so the two ways to minimize them is to increase the pain you can justify and minimize pain causing things in your life. example: your car breaks down in the snow on the way to your stressful job. you were probably already having a lousy day having to go to work, but you justified it because you became accustomed to it. when your car broke down you realized it would cost money to get it fixed, and you were going to have to go out in the snow, possibly with some embarassment-linked pain and get it taken care of. because you will be out of the money it cost for repairs, and have to tell your boss you can't come to work, you will have a higher amount of pain than you're used to and this is the start of a 'bad day'. to help this situation you can thank yourself you are not in a worse one, such as a prison cell for being a victim of the heroin abuse trap. to prevent this situation you can increase your health by various means, making the cold snowy weather not so painful or distasteful, and the stressful job easier and more manageable. you could invest in yourself educationally to get a better job even if it's the same salary, but less stressful, so that even if you have to work hours just to pay for those car repairs and not your new playstation 3, then it's not so painful because the work is not so stressful. by doing these core things, just like taking preventive measures doing the wai diet in order to decrease the stress caused by unhealthy processed and cooked foods, you raise your standard of living drastically and have less and less bad days.
the best thing I ever did for myself was move away from my stressful family, I haven't had a bad day since
Re: Good days & Bad days
You guys are all my kind of people, and I'm having a good day just reading through these posts!:)
Reaching for the next best emotion, like Ekhart Tolle talks about in some of his books, sounds a lot like panacea's explanation, but panacea's is much more concrete and indepth - I like it! When reaching for the next best emotion (usually a good process for someone to practice on who's used to letting a bad day get them down, or who habitually feels sorry for themselves) includes going up a chain of "feeling" based emotions like from self-pity/feeling victimized to anger (yeah that's at least pro-active) to apathy (at least you're not kicking your car and swearing) to moving your mind in more positive directions like feeling happy (it could have been worse) or seeking for a better solution to keep you out of the same mess next time.
Following your own dreams and living a life where you can make your own decisions certainly helps with have more good days too! And learning to laugh at yourself and the illusion that the world's getting in your way has helped me the most. Living with my husband has trained me up well in sarcasm, and being caught off guard enough times to learn that anything is funny when looked at in the right way:)
Reaching for the next best emotion, like Ekhart Tolle talks about in some of his books, sounds a lot like panacea's explanation, but panacea's is much more concrete and indepth - I like it! When reaching for the next best emotion (usually a good process for someone to practice on who's used to letting a bad day get them down, or who habitually feels sorry for themselves) includes going up a chain of "feeling" based emotions like from self-pity/feeling victimized to anger (yeah that's at least pro-active) to apathy (at least you're not kicking your car and swearing) to moving your mind in more positive directions like feeling happy (it could have been worse) or seeking for a better solution to keep you out of the same mess next time.
Following your own dreams and living a life where you can make your own decisions certainly helps with have more good days too! And learning to laugh at yourself and the illusion that the world's getting in your way has helped me the most. Living with my husband has trained me up well in sarcasm, and being caught off guard enough times to learn that anything is funny when looked at in the right way:)
Re: Good days & Bad days
Certainly, but no one's perfect. What is better, the mother that over clothes her children, or the scummy mother that lets them go out in a t-shirt in snowy days, like some children would if allowed?panacea wrote:there are a lot of scumbags out there who are greedy for money and power and they are bad, yes, but there is also a lot of confused, good hearted people who are leading other people down the wrong path with good intentions. one example would be religious evangelists, trying to save the souls of others but actually igniting social tension. mothers over clothing their children causing health issues but trying to protect them from the cold. this is a constant of our time, people see things through a filter of black and white rather than shades of grey and unknown.
No one's perfect. No ones sees the whole picture. Not even you my friend
(although you are certainly much, much "wiser" than the ignorant, careless masses of the present times). We just gotta give our best, and try to keep our feet on the ground, and try not to do much harm - being conscious of our ignorance, being humble. But that doesn't mean we don't gotta be bold sometimes. Even if that boldness is not gonna be something all good (cause we're humans). Sometimes things need to be shaken. That's my opinion.Beautiful thoughtpanacea wrote:we are social creatures, although the older we get the more we can internalize social sensations through imagination (become independent).
Do you believe there isn't one day that I don't think of doing that? The only 2 months I lived away from my family I didn't have one single bad day either. I felt so... free. Just free. But now I have my grandma with the SCLC and I just can't move away. Really bad days I've been having, even with all my emotional control that everybody praises me lol.panacea wrote: the best thing I ever did for myself was move away from my stressful family, I haven't had a bad day since
Re: Good days & Bad days
going shirtless is actually healthy for most healthy children especially if its not snowing, just snow on ground, they have higher metabolisms and can perfectly handle it as long as there is no wetness on them which rapidly steals their heat. (so for instance it's healthier to go out in snowy weather shirtless for children (after having snowed) in 30 degree weather than it is WITH a shirt on in the rain in 45 degree weather)
of course no one sees the whole picture, that was my point that we should see in shades of grey and unknown rather than black and white
being humble is stupid in my opinion, an attempt at pretending you are better or worse than what you actually are - there is no shame in being wrong or right, and no reason to show yourself of less importance than others (be humble), rather you should see yourself as equal to everyone as much as you can so that you are not threatened by anyone or threatening to anyone. being humble is often considered a threat because fake humility is extremely antagonistic and it's easy to fall into that behavior if you have a belief system saying 'i should be humble' rather than 'all people are a reflection of me that was raised in different circumstances'. it's just like the whole christian religious tone of 'forgiveness no matter what', of course people will 'try' and 'pretend' to forgive other people to be 'christian' or a 'good person', but since they did not rationalize the forgiveness it's not true forgiveness inside them no matter how strongly they believe. some extremely religious people can actually show sincerity but they will always carry a secret grudge or stereotype against people who have wronged them because it's an external forgiveness, someone else made them do it (in this case a books teachings), rather than they actually believing by themselves that the person deserved forgiveness (as you would believe if you saw them a vitim of cause and effect)
about your grandmother, you have to look out for #1 first, and everyone else second, if you don't, everyone else will be unhappy in the long run because you will turn into a stress machine
of course no one sees the whole picture, that was my point that we should see in shades of grey and unknown rather than black and white
being humble is stupid in my opinion, an attempt at pretending you are better or worse than what you actually are - there is no shame in being wrong or right, and no reason to show yourself of less importance than others (be humble), rather you should see yourself as equal to everyone as much as you can so that you are not threatened by anyone or threatening to anyone. being humble is often considered a threat because fake humility is extremely antagonistic and it's easy to fall into that behavior if you have a belief system saying 'i should be humble' rather than 'all people are a reflection of me that was raised in different circumstances'. it's just like the whole christian religious tone of 'forgiveness no matter what', of course people will 'try' and 'pretend' to forgive other people to be 'christian' or a 'good person', but since they did not rationalize the forgiveness it's not true forgiveness inside them no matter how strongly they believe. some extremely religious people can actually show sincerity but they will always carry a secret grudge or stereotype against people who have wronged them because it's an external forgiveness, someone else made them do it (in this case a books teachings), rather than they actually believing by themselves that the person deserved forgiveness (as you would believe if you saw them a vitim of cause and effect)
about your grandmother, you have to look out for #1 first, and everyone else second, if you don't, everyone else will be unhappy in the long run because you will turn into a stress machine
Re: Good days & Bad days
Have you ever heard of Jemmy Button? On Darwin's journey with the beagle he came to the most south point of south america. In the winter they get temperatures which go below 0 degrees celsius. Comparable to the northwest of Europe. But the people of there didn't wear clothes. They had some other tricks to master the cold climate, but still they were running around in skirts most of the time!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yaghan
They started wearing clothing after the visits of the Western Europeans. A real shame. People can handle so much more than we nowadays think. Just because we replace everything with something we make. We make ourselves weaker. Nature has already all solutions. But we want to do everything better and better. That's one of the reasons I am quitting with the bullshit. Walking barefoot in house and on sunny days, no soaps or shampoo, no heating, cold showers sleeping on ground. Back to the basics.
I love how everyone replies if they find out. What kind of spartan ways are these? Then I laugh and say I never felt better and solved almost all my troubles and shortcomings which I had.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yaghan
They started wearing clothing after the visits of the Western Europeans. A real shame. People can handle so much more than we nowadays think. Just because we replace everything with something we make. We make ourselves weaker. Nature has already all solutions. But we want to do everything better and better. That's one of the reasons I am quitting with the bullshit. Walking barefoot in house and on sunny days, no soaps or shampoo, no heating, cold showers sleeping on ground. Back to the basics.
I love how everyone replies if they find out. What kind of spartan ways are these? Then I laugh and say I never felt better and solved almost all my troubles and shortcomings which I had.