Celebrating Christmas

[Iris]

Which of you celebrate christmas with family or friend that are non-wai, and ecpecially how do you do it when it comes to eating/diner??? Making something that suites everyone (this is what we'll try to do), or disregarding the wai-diet for a couple of days? Or simply not eating with family/friends that have different eating habits? With us, it's nothing new some people eating certain things others don't. Because of all my straaaange eating habits of the last years, nobody is suprised anymore when I don't want to eat something, and nobody minds. Also, with us, nowadays everybody has different prefferences. But we always succeed to get something at the table everyone enjoys. But I must say, It's a whole relieve my grandmother, aunts and oncles aren't pressent (diet-wise) (they think we all have eating disorders nowadays )

[RRM]

I dont do xmas dinners, but i guess its not that much from normal dinners, is it?
Here is my answer: dont try to satisfy everybody with the same foods. Simply make different dishes for different preferences.

[Iris]

Well, it is different, in our case at least, because this is close to the only time in the year when we eat with all my brothers and mother together. And though it's not that different from what we all normally eat (we don't make all those expensive special christmass-things, just a looooot of raw fish, fruits and also some coocked foods), because we normally all eat different, it's still a lot more work and arrangeing than normal... If that makes sense

Why don't you do christmas dinners, if I may ask? Nonsense?

[RRM]

Well, im kind of allergic to all 'prescribed' social behaviour; i just dont like to go somewhere to meet people if i have to. If i want to, thats a whole different ballgame. I also dont mind the strict rules of work; as a matter of fact, i never show up late and i've never missed a single hour.
And I love to have dinner with friends, but if it is a rule or must that i have to dine with them on a specific day (like xmas) that cannot be postponed a week or two, then my dislike has been raised already.
For me, life is too short for mandatory social behaviour; i want to be free to do whatever i want, whenever i want. Thats why i dont do birthdays either; havent celebrated my b-day since i was 14, i think. And i dont go to other people's b-day either. Not even my mum's b-day!!! They all have accepted it as a fact of life a looong way ago.
But when im going to see friends or family, thats when i really enjoy it.
And whenever i give someone a present spontaneously, it always feels very very good.

[fictor]

I celebrate hristmast with my family. They eat duck, baked in the oven, with stemaet vegetables and sauce.

I am planning to make myself a nice stake tartare, with eggylk and avocado

I agree with RRM on the point of disliking forced soscial behavior.
In my case though, if I did not show up to birthdays and family holliday
dinners, I would barely see my family and freinds, because I work so much and spend so much time with my girlfriend. So I gladly partake in celebrating christmast and birthdays, even though I am against the idea of it. That said, I partake in the society at general, even though I am kind of against the idea of that too

[Iris]

Personally I do like christmas, but that is because it reminds me even more than other days how relieved I am to not have to deal with my father anymore (most other days it kind of makes me sad at least, but christmas (and any other celebration for that matter) where always the worst)
Besides that, I loooove to spend time with my brothers, and I visit them quite often. But those "obliged familygatherings" are the only times they are all here. That's what I love about it most.

But I can relate to you guys when it comes to those "fake" familydays (birthday parties etc.) where other familymembers are also invited, and therefore offcourse present.... Most often against their will and they don't even bother to hide it. But at the same time everybody is asking all sorts off polite questions, while not even curious about the answers. They hardly even hear it. At least, that's how it goes in my family. I am sort of allergic to fake interest So in that case, I think it would be a enourmous improvement to not feel obliged to visit parties/hollidays. That, and the fact nobody lives in the neighbourhood makes I hardly attend birthdays other than my mother's and brothers'...

But with regards to diet, you're not having any difficulty eating your own things I understand Not that I expected any different from you die-hards

[fictor]

For me, life is too short for mandatory social behaviour; i want to be free to do whatever i want, whenever i want. Thats why i dont do birthdays either; havent celebrated my b-day since i was 14, i think. And i dont go to other people's b-day either. Not even my mum's b-day!!!

Being free is just about the most important thing in my life as well, and I suspect many of us feels that way, but one have to be careful not to get trapped in ones own net of rule-breaking rules.

What I mean is that when RRM says he never goes to birthday parties, he is not really free, in my point of view, since he has made a rule that he does not attend to birthdays. If he goes to some birthdays but not all does not means that he is free either, freedom is not random behavior. If one goes to the birthdays one want to go to, and not the ones one does not want to go to, then one is really free!

And RRM, I simply do not believe that when some of your best friends and family get together to celebrate a birthday, that you would rather sit alone at home, and if that is true, you are not free unless you go to that birthday party

Just a thought...

[fictor]

But with regards to diet, you're not having any difficulty eating your own things I understand Not that I expected any different from you die-hards

Hehe, I have had 'crazy' ways of eating for many years. Before I used to eat a low glycemic diet with tons of supplements. My typical chrismast dinner back then would be a glass of wheatgrass and spirulina juice, some duck or chicken (or both) lots and lots of steamed broccoli and carrots and vitamin pills and cod liver oil and pro-biotics. Then, 30 mins. later I would be hungry again and have slices of rye bread with sunflower seed spread and bananas, lots of water and perhaps some hemp-protein powder I have brought my own food (lots of it) to resturants, tips, parties and work for years. It takes time, but I am fully used to it now, as is most of my family, friends and colleagues. You'll get there

Sorry for double posting!

[Iris]

But with regards to diet, you're not having any difficulty eating your own things I understand Not that I expected any different from you die-hards

Hehe, I have had 'crazy' ways of eating for many years. Before I used to eat a low glycemic diet with tons of supplements. My typical chrismast dinner back then would be a glass of wheatgrass and spirulina juice, some duck or chicken (or both) lots and lots of steamed broccoli and carrots and vitamin pills and cod liver oil and pro-biotics. Then, 30 mins. later I would be hungry again and have slices of rye bread with sunflower seed spread and bananas, lots of water and perhaps some hemp-protein powder I have brought my own food (lots of it) to resturants, tips, parties and work for years. It takes time, but I am fully used to it now, as is most of my family, friends and colleagues. You'll get there

Sorry for double posting!

It's very nice to read something about your path towards your ideal diet. So thank you for that. I mean, not that it's nice you have had difficulties with diet too, but it is nice to read others have (had) strange eating habits as well and it kind of strengthens my own idea that I'm not a completely hopeless case

Feeling free...... To be honest I was thinking the same thing as you after my last post. But I also think it's very personal. What is freedom for one might differ from what it is for another. And at the end, it is about
feeling free what counts, right? Sorry for bringing this forward again, but when I was in the hospital (:roll:) I wasn't allowed to walk arround freely and had all sorts of rules that specifically adressed me. Because of this, I felt like a prisoner. I had a loooooot of discussions with the hospitalls social workers and psychologist (that visited me now and then anyway) about the issue of being free, and as I said, I don't think there is just one good answer to the question of what being free is.... What do you think? Fictor? RRM? (or anybody else? )

[fictor]

You are of course right. There is no absolute answer to what freedom is.
Thinking about it, there is very little, or really nothing, we can claim to
be absolutely true in this world.

I should have made it even clearer that is was talking about my idea
of freedom, not some universal truth about freedom Still, I think
anyone should be careful not to become prisoners in their own idea
about freedom, resulting in loss of choices. In my idea choice=freedom.

[RRM]

when RRM says he never goes to birthday parties, he is not really free, in my point of view, since he has made a rule that he does not attend to birthdays.

Maybe. But i feel free.
Its not really a rule. I wouldnt know most people's birthday. The ones of my sisters and mother i still remember of course, but i dont know when my friend's bdays are. So, maybe one day i will accidentally show up at a bday!

If one goes to the birthdays one want to go to, and not the ones one does not want to go to, then one is really free!

Absolutely.

I simply do not believe that when some of your best friends and family get together to celebrate a birthday, that you would rather sit alone at home,

Well, im simply never aware of it, because i never think of bdays anymore, except that sometimes i think "oh its my mother's bday this month', and then i forget about it again.
Dont forget that ive been doing this for over 20 years, which means its out of my system; i simply hardly ever think of any birthday'; only when it becomes a topic of conversation.
So, yes, i really do feel free; its out of my system.

and if that is true, you are not free unless you go to that birthday party

If i would be thinking about it, maybe. I dont know. But im not thinking about it. Im not being stubborn all by myself; im just doing what i do on any other day. When it someone's b-day, its simply just another day for me. I wouldnt know the difference.

[RRM]

In my idea choice=freedom.

Sure, the freedom of choice is freedom, but is having to chose more also more freedom?
For example:
If i have to make (hmm, thats also 'have to') 100 choices every day, regarding what to eat, do etc etc., do i have less freedom than when i have to make 1000 choices?
Cant you become a kind of prisoner of the choices you have to make?
If i dont have to chose whether i go to a bday, isnt that also freedom?
And, if im not aware of someone's bday, am i less free than someone who is?
Im sure my friends / family would be pleasantly surprised if i show up at someone's bday, so if i want to, i always can. Im always welcome.
Im always free to go to a birthday. I never forbid myself. I simply never ever feel compelled to go there. Why? Because there will always be people who feel obligated to ask me questions while not genuinly interested, and then of course i dont want to insult them.
When you go to a birthday, and you want to leave after 2 minutes, you need to find a pretty good excuse, because otherwise people feel insulted.
I dont like to insult people.
But i also dont like making fake conversations just to be polite.
So, i simply avoid those gatherings where people feel they 'have' to come, and where they feel they 'have' to conversate to avoid those moments of silence, and where people feel they 'have' to have a good time.

Now nobody feels offended when im not there whereas i 'did go to that other person's bday party'. They know i never come, so nobody feels ignored or left out.
And when i go to visit somebody, they know its always genuine; that i really want to be there.
It makes me feel free.

[fictor]

Cant you become a kind of prisoner of the choices you have to make?

Abosultely! As I wrote earlier

Still, I think
anyone should be careful not to become prisoners in their own idea
about freedom, resulting in loss of choices. In my idea choice=freedom.

I too have to constantly question my own idea about freedom, to not get trapped in a set of rules.

Of course, sometimes I actually want to have strict rules or frames for some part of my
life, like you say, showing up at work in time, or going to bed at a decent time to get
enough sleep. But after a while, I should question these rules I made, to see if they
constrict me, or make me more free.

Of course, this is again only my ideas, so I should question the fact that I question
them, and be careful to not get trapped in my own constant questioning

[RRM]

[Oscar]

Haha, fun discussion

I had a xmas dinner at the parents of my girlfriend, but we had our own food.

I used to think that freedom was all important to have. That hasn't really changed, but I now know that we all have it already, even though we might think/believe otherwise. We always have every choice and 100% control over our lives (sounds great huh?).