you might be an A.R.V. if...

[martianwarrior]

WARNING: the following is a list of possible symptoms of an Angry Raw Vegan. not all that is mentioned bellow only applies to raw vegans. much of it may apply to you and/or your loved ones. proceed with a sense of caution and honesty. knowing these symptoms and knowing how to recognize them may help to prevent the perils of raw veganism.


You Might Be an ANRGY Raw Vegan if...

1. you find yourself snapping at those who give "non-vegan" solutions to health issues.

2. your hair is falling out.

3. you feel that verbally attacking non-vegans is the best way to spread Love.

4. you think dietary fat of any kind is poison.

5. you avoid sugar, but gorge on large meals of fruit to the point of satiety during the day.

6. you are lacking focus, mental energy and overall brain function to the point that you feel the need to parrot the health literature and the raw gospel of others, rather than sharing your own experience.

7. your body is eating away at its own muscles for energy.

8. you feel that your body deserves punishment and should be responsible for producing its own supply of cholesterol, B12 etc. receiving no outside help whatsoever!

9. your favorite raw food gurus are salesmen.

10. you are the one who is responsible for bananas being on back-order for the next three weeks at your local food market.

11. you think getting by on 1,000 calories a day makes you more spiritual/natural.

12. you think cows set a good example for human health.

13. you think grass is a healing food.

14. you lie about the number of bowel movements you have per day.

15. you think all meat and eggs come from factory farms.

16. you treat meat eaters like factory farm workers treat animals.

17. you think meat is murder.

18. you can't make it half way through this video without going into systemic shock, convulsing, foaming at the mouth and mutating into a ware wolf.

19. you're FUCKING FREEZING!!!

20. you spend hours upon hours a day logged onto giveittomeraw.com, stalking non-vegan raw foodists, ready to pounce on them when giving "erroneous health info" in order to smear them and inject your raw vegan rhetoric into the blog or discussion.


this will eventually become a youtube video. any ideas? suggestions? i need more material.

[Oscar]

Don't raw vegans eat more veggies than fruit?

[martianwarrior]

have you heard about the 80/10/10 diet? it's a low fat raw vegan diet. the 80 represents the amount of fruit in the diet. the 10's being protein and fat.

[Oscar]

Nope, haven't heard about it.