CELIBACY

martianwarrior · Post by **martianwarrior** » Mon 07 Dec 2009 16:09

many people have different definitions...

i would say that abstaining from all forms of sexual gratification qualifies as celibacy. many others throw in that you can't even think "dirty" thoughts.

i have been partially celibate for three years not because i don't want to have sex, but also not because of lack of opportunity. i guess you could say i'm looking for a more spiritually fulfilling mate and i'm not one for just hooking up. i did that a few times with one girl and the outcome was less than desirable and have not had sex since then. i've been considering going fully celibate just to see where it takes me.

i have to say that over the past three years i feel like i've been gaining momentum in my own life and part of that was recently do to the wai diet. but the longer i go without sex, the more i feel comfortable and clear enough in my own mind to do what i want to do with my life. it's hard to tell if abstaining from sex and an increase in drive towards life goals go hand in hand. no doubt, other factors play a role in the improvement of my life like stopping using drugs and alcohol, leaving negative friendships and relationships behind. but, i just have to wonder if not having sex has played a part in increasing mental clarity and overall energy or not.

to me, sex is highly spiritual in nature and in the act of doing so, much energy and information is exchanged. it makes sense when looking at it from that angle, that not entangling your soul with that of another could have a profound effect as far as mental clarity goes.

i'm sure all your logical types will find that to be a strange idea

there are studies that say DO IT! it's good for your health, it keep testosterone levels up. another camp says to save your seed as it is a vital life force that you can use for more drive and energy.

thoughts? opinions?...

YouTube · Post by **RRM** » Tue 08 Dec 2009 11:15

Well, there is some evidence that orgasms play a role in 'resetting' your mind;
that it enables you to eliminate stress and organize 'brain-input'.

martianwarrior · Post by **martianwarrior** » Tue 08 Dec 2009 15:02

hmm... i've sat here and thought about it and i don't feel any need to "reset" my mind. i'm sure others do. i feel like my mind is set on the correct path and the next 5 or so years in my life are crucial and i don't want to disturb my mentality. i guess it really depends on what you mean by reset. i think of when your computer freezes up and you have to hit the restart button.

as far as "eliminating stress"... that almost(and i stress almost)sounds like escapism, like doing a drug. they have similar effects, although they are not completely the same. feeling good, during or after sex isn't dealing with stress, you're just poo pooing it. that can be a good thing, but i can already do that. since starting the wai diet and since the wai diet helped me to take my spirituality to another level, i feel a lack of stress that i've never ever had in my life before.

lastly, i feel like if i were to have sex with someone, even only once, or start a sexual relationship with someone, my "brain input" would become altered from that which is already the current flow of brain activity and i have to say that i don't want that at all. i feel like that input would now need room to hold thoughts about my partner. i'm just too damn focused these days and the way my life is finally coming together and making sense is just too precious to lose.

RRM, i appreciate you sharing that knowledge. it makes sense and sounds correct and i believe i've heard or read something like that before. someone else learning that might make them want to have sex, but for me, as you can see, it makes me feel the opposite.

i hope others will share their thoughts and feelings. i think this is such an interesting subject and obviously, very health related.

Post by **Oscar** » Wed 09 Dec 2009 11:44

I think we can function well with and without sex. On the other hand I don't think sex in itself has a specific meaning, only that which we give to it. If you believe sex is spiritual, then it is. If you think that not having sex distracts your thoughts and stress you out, then it works that way. Etc.

The "chinese torture" is a bit the same. The victim is bound in such a way he cannot move his head, and a drop of water drips on his forehead with regular intervals. The victim is led to believe he will go crazy from this.
The method works because the victim believes in a certain effect. When he believes the drops would make him calm and relaxed, that would work as well.

martianwarrior · Post by **martianwarrior** » Wed 09 Dec 2009 15:34

interesting viewpoint oscar, a good example of the power of belief. i'll definitely be thinking about how much belief plays a role in the effects of being celibate.

i do have a belief that going completely celibate will positively impact my life. however, i'm also just curious and sort of anxious to experience something so rarely practiced in our "culture".

so i have a belief, but i also want to test that belief. a belief is not something you can really test too often. i used to believe that being vegan was a much more spiritually correct way of living and eating. i was also convinced that it was healthier too. before i ever found out any hard evidence that this was not so, i began seeing signs in my health and felt weak.

i'm curious to see what happens if i decide to go for it.

Post by **Iris** » Thu 10 Dec 2009 00:18

RRM wrote:Well, there is some evidence that orgasms play a role in 'resetting' your mind;
that it enables you to eliminate stress and organize 'brain-input'.

You don't need another person for that, now do you

I don't know what is "best". I think that depends on what you want for yourself (duh!

)

martianwarrior · Post by **martianwarrior** » Thu 10 Dec 2009 04:37

iris, are you a female?

i think an orgasm is easier to achieve on your own if you are a woman

if i was really in need of an orgasm, i would prefer to have some help

Post by **Iris** » Thu 10 Dec 2009 05:44

martianwarrior wrote:iris, are you a female?

i think an orgasm is easier to achieve on your own if you are a woman

if i was really in need of an orgasm, i would prefer to have some help

yes I am

martianwarrior · Post by **martianwarrior** » Sat 12 Dec 2009 18:21

Laughing yes I am Cool

you would be

the more i've thought about this over the past few days, this is obviously a matter of personal need and preference. needing/wanting to be celibate or not depends very much on personal goals, whom you are/aren't in contact with, timing, mental, emotional and physical needs etc.

from my viewpoint, there is no better way.

routinely having sex has pros and cons and those specific pros and cons depend on who that sex is with, frequency of sex, frequency of partner changes, physical, emotional and mental state/needs. being celibate can have pros and cons too.

it all depends on where you are at on your life path, what you need to accomplish and what you have left to accomplish in order to feel fulfilled in life.

for a long time i've been doing my best to let my heart lead, rather than my head. to listen to what i feel first rather than to react based on what i intellectualize. for some this may seem dangerous or silly. for me, it is the better way and the quality of my life continues to improve. what's even cooler is that now that my mind is actually being fueled properly, i can interpret my emotional sensing much more accurately. to boil it down, if living my life a certain way continues to improve my life and my emotions become more and more stable and correct, should i not continue to follow the source and what i feel? just like if continuing to sip juice throughout the day gives me energy and makes me happy, should i not continue this daily? for me, that's what this all comes down to... honoring my emotions and learning from them rather than fearing them and shutting them off. the more i listen to my emotions, not necessarily react based on emotions, but the more i listen and explore them, the less confused i am by them. i'm not saying that listening to your emotions will always lead you to a happy place, but you will find yourself in an honest place. you will discover things about yourself that you did not know.

to wrap this up...

to me, sex is something that seems to go hand in hand with mixed emotions and complications. perhaps i'm just too young to not experience uncomplicated sex? most of those complications are likely the product of sexual pursuit. perhaps it's that i'm not the one who brings complications to the equation and i just can't seem to avoid complicated females?

life is fucking weird... that is all i know for sure

YouTube · Post by **RRM** » Sat 12 Dec 2009 18:45

should i not continue to follow the source and what i feel?

Exactly, because your feelings will guide you to experience... (continue this sentence in quote)

martianwarrior wrote:...what you have left to accomplish in order to feel fulfilled in life.

And i think you are spot on.

i'm not saying that listening to your emotions will always lead you to a happy place, but you will find yourself in an honest place...

... where honesty may be equal to learning about fulfilling your life.

perhaps i'm just too young to not experience uncomplicated sex?

Naaaah, it has nothing to do with age.
Most young men simply enjoy the pursuit and the sex
and dont care about any feelings.
No, it says a lot about your personality (in a good way, i think)

perhaps it's that i'm not the one who brings complications to the equation and i just can't seem to avoid complicated females?

Perhaps it you who listens and notices.
Perhaps its those complications that you need to fulfill your life?

life is fucking weird... that is all i know for sure

I agree. Its extremely contradictive.
There is no guidance and lots of extremes.
And its all up to you to find your own way, and fulfill your life.

Post by **Oscar** » Mon 14 Dec 2009 12:27

My belief is that there is no right or wrong way to lead your life, all that matters is what you want to do. So go for it.

martianwarrior · Post by **martianwarrior** » Sat 19 Dec 2009 23:10

i love the wai community. you guys are great!

Post by **Oscar** » Sun 20 Dec 2009 14:54

martianwarrior · Post by **martianwarrior** » Sat 02 Jan 2010 14:43

so...

after reading the other thread titled 'Celibacy' which i had not seen prior to starting this one, i went to the link that johndela1 posted and started reading from the beginning ... http://www.hps-online.com/tsy1.htm

my my my...

i will say again... life is fucking weird.

after reading through all six pages, i went to the bookstore to preview The Tao of Sex, Health and Longevity. after about 1 hour of reading i went home and ordered a used copy on amazon.com for exactly $7.01.

everything that i had said and for years previously believed about the exchange of energy and information between partners during intercourse is all laid out in this book. much if not all of what the ancients believed about semen emission and retention is now backed up by medical science.

the exchange of energy and information that i spoke of is not as untouchable as i had previously thought. the energy and information is in the form of hormones and other sexual secretions. i don't understand it all well enough to explain it, but while reading it, it all makes sense. for me, it's the truth about sex that i had already known but had no specific knowledge or real proof of.

in short, i've learned that celibacy is not a good idea, at least not for me. i think approaching sex in this way will indeed take my spirituality to yet another level and enhance my athletic performance.

so thanks to johndela1 for finding that link and posting it and thanks to the others who discussed this issue with me.

time to start dating again